Coming Out of the Closet

I've thought about writing this post for YEARS.  Yes, years.

But I've been afraid.

Afraid that people will judge me, and think I'm weird, and that I'm permissive with my kids or something, and that I'm harming them, and that I'm....just...weird.

I'm not weird.  I promise.  At least I don't think I am!  Before having kids, I was so mainstream, it's not even funny.  How did I get to be such a hippie?  That's a long answer, and I'll need to do it in another post, but much of the answer has to do with becoming a parent. 

I just want to do the best thing for my kids.  Emotionally, nutritionally, educationally, physically, spiritually.  I want the best for them in their lives.  I want to do the best job as Mommy that I can.  It's my vocation, and I want to do it well.

Wanting to do it well spurred me on to research a lot as I became a parent.  I've read a lot on breastfeeding, and a long time ago (when The Princess was a baby) decided I would let my kids self-wean, because that is what I deemed best for them.  {For more info on extended breastfeeding, and why I chose it, see this article.}

The Princess nursed until she was three years, nine months old.  I was already pregnant with Baby Brother by this time, and was nursing both Little Brother, and The Princess.  I wasn't sure how I was going to tandem nurse all three of them if she continued on, seeing as how God only gave me two boobs, but I was OK with with trying, if that's what would happen.  Thankfully, she gave up on the Nursies when there was no milk on tap (due to my pregnancy).  Little Brother, on the other hand, continued on, and still nurses like a champ at three years, four months old.  I don't think he's planning on stopping anytime soon.  And I'm nowhere near pregnant, so I should have plenty of milk on tap for both the boys, for quite awhile. 


Whenever I have considered coming clean with my breastfeeding choices, I've remembered back to a time when I worked at a large church in Orange County, in the Children's Ministry.  I remember sitting in my office, with all the other women (moms) on staff, and they were joking and making fun of people who nurse their toddlers. This was pre-kids for me, and I didn't think much of it, other than, "Ya, those moms ARE weird! (I think?)"  These moms were talking about how "When your kid can ask for it, you know you've gone too far", and how "That's just WRONG!". 

Then I decided to be one of those moms.  Uh-oh.

And this is why I've been in the closet.  But I'm coming out.  This TIME magazine cover that was released today was my inspiration. 

Maybe I am weird.  But ya know? I'm ok with that.  I'm confident in my choices, and hope that people can respect my decisions, and understand that these decisions have been based on research and thoughtful consideration.  I NEVER would have imagined myself as this kind of mom.  I never planned on being this kind of mom. Honestly, when I pictured myself as a mom, I assumed I'd work, my kids would probably go to public school, I'd vaccinate my kids, and I'd spank my kids when they disobeyed me, just like all other "normal" American parents. Now I'm a Stay-At-Home mom who homeschools my kids, doesn't vaccinate, and practices Gentle Discipline.  Someday I'll explain how I got here.

For now, I'm starting by coming out.


Ahhhh......that feels good.